Learn About Becoming a Big Brother Mentor

What Big Brothers Big Sisters Actually Does (And What You're Signing Up For)

Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) is one of the oldest youth mentoring organizations in the United States, founded in 1904. The organization pairs adult volunteers — called "Bigs" — with young people — called "Littles" — typically ages 6 to 18. This isn't a casual friendship; it's a structured mentoring relationship with specific expectations, training, and ongoing support.

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The basic structure works like this: you commit to spending time with your Little regularly, usually at least twice monthly for a minimum of one year. The relationship focuses on building trust, providing positive role modeling, and creating stability in a young person's life. Many Littles come from single-parent households, low-income families, or backgrounds where they've experienced instability. Your role isn't to fix their problems or take over parenting responsibilities — it's to be a consistent, caring presence.

BBBS operates in all 50 states plus Washington D.C., with over 1,600 local chapters. Each chapter runs its own programs with slight variations, but the core model remains consistent. The organization serves roughly 350,000 youth annually through its mentoring matches. The relationship itself is the intervention; research shows that youth in BBBS programs score better on academic measures, have fewer absences from school, and demonstrate improved social skills compared to peers without mentors.

What sets BBBS apart from other mentoring organizations is the vetting process and training. BBBS chapters conduct background checks, require reference verification, and provide ongoing training to mentors. This isn't a volunteer position where you show up and do your own thing. You'll be part of a system designed to protect both the young person and yourself.

Practical takeaway: Before considering becoming a Big, understand that this is a real commitment with structured expectations, not a flexible volunteer opportunity. The organization prioritizes consistency and stability above all else, which means irregular participation won't work.

The Time Commitment: Understanding What "Regular" Actually Means

One of the most important conversations to have before becoming a Big Brother is about time. BBBS asks for a genuine, sustained commitment — not a onetime volunteering day. The standard expectation is that you'll spend at least two to four hours together per month, with many matches involving closer to 8-12 hours monthly when you factor in activities, travel, and meals.

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This commitment typically runs for a minimum of one year, though many matches last several years. Some Bigs mentor the same person from age 8 to age 18, watching them grow through elementary school, middle school, and high school. The organization strongly discourages short-term matches because young people need predictability. Starting and then stopping a mentoring relationship can actually be harmful, reinforcing feelings of abandonment or unreliability that many Littles may already struggle with.

Think about what your schedule actually looks like right now. If you're managing a demanding job with unpredictable hours, taking on significant family caregiving, or pursuing education, this may not be the right time. BBBS chapters are honest about this during their screening conversations — they'd rather have you acknowledge that you can't commit than make a match that will fail.

The activities themselves are usually simple and low-cost: grabbing ice cream, going to a park, playing sports, visiting a library, seeing a movie, or helping with homework. You don't need to plan elaborate outings. In fact, the organization recommends that Bigs let their Littles help shape what you do together. Your Little might teach you about their favorite video game, take you on a tour of their neighborhood, or introduce you to their friends.

Beyond the direct time together, there's also communication with the BBBS staff. After your match is made, you'll have regular check-ins — usually monthly calls or emails with your assigned case manager who monitors how the relationship is developing. This typically adds another hour or so per month to your overall commitment.

Practical takeaway: Before contacting a BBBS chapter, honestly evaluate your schedule for the next 12-24 months. If you can't carve out roughly 8-12 hours per month consistently, consider waiting until your life circumstances change. Starting a match you'll abandon is worse than not starting one at all.

Background Checks, Training, and What the Vetting Process Involves

BBBS takes child safety seriously, which means the process of becoming a Big involves several steps that can take several weeks to complete. This isn't bureaucratic red tape — it's designed to protect vulnerable young people. Understanding this process upfront helps you know what to expect.

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The first step is completing an initial inquiry with your local BBBS chapter. You'll provide basic information about yourself and your interest in mentoring. This conversation helps staff understand your motivation and assess whether mentoring seems like a good fit for you. They'll ask about your work schedule, living situation, transportation, and why you want to be a mentor. Be honest here. There are no "wrong" answers to these questions — staff are just gathering information.

Next comes the background check, which typically includes a criminal records check, sex offender registry check, and sometimes a driving record check (if you'll be driving your Little). The specific checks vary by state and local chapter. You'll be asked to authorize these checks through an application form. This process can take two to four weeks depending on your state's record-keeping systems.

You'll also need to provide references — usually two or three people who can speak to your character and reliability. These are typically people who've known you for a few years, like an employer, colleague, teacher, coach, or community leader. The BBBS staff will contact these references directly, so choose people you've already alerted to the possibility.

If your background check clears and references check out, you'll move to the interview stage. This is a more in-depth conversation, usually in person or by video call, where BBBS staff asks about your expectations, your relationship history, how you handle conflicts, and what kind of young person you'd like to be matched with. They're trying to understand not just whether you're safe, but whether you're emotionally equipped for this work.

Then comes training. Most chapters require mentors to attend a training session, either as a group workshop or one-on-one with a staff member. This training covers topics like understanding trauma and adverse experiences, cultural competency, communication skills, boundaries in the mentor relationship, and how to handle challenging situations. Training typically takes 4-6 hours total and may be split across multiple sessions. Some chapters do this virtually, others in-person.

Throughout this entire process, BBBS staff is also working on your behalf. Once you're cleared and trained, they begin identifying a potential match — a young person whose needs and personality might align well with what you can offer. They don't just randomly pair people; they consider factors like geography, interests, family situations, and what each person is looking for.

Practical takeaway: Plan on the entire process from initial inquiry to being matched with a young person taking 2-3 months. During this time, stay responsive to BBBS staff and honest in all your conversations. The thoroughness of this screening protects both you and your future Little.

What You'll Actually Do Together: Realistic Examples and Activity Ideas

One of the biggest misconceptions about Big Brothers Big Sisters is that mentoring requires special skills, expertise, or money. It doesn't. The relationship is built on presence and genuine interest, not on taking your Little on expensive vacations or teaching them specialized skills.

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Here are activities that real matches do together: A Big in Chicago meets his 10-year-old Little at a local basketball court every Saturday morning for pickup games, then they grab lunch at a deli nearby. A Big in rural Montana takes his teenage Little hiking in the mountains near their town a few times a year and talks through school and friendship challenges during these outings. A Big in Phoenix helps her Little with reading every other Thursday after school at the public library, where they pick out books together and grab hot chocolate. A Big in Atlanta attends his Little's school soccer games and school performances, cheering from the sidelines and talking about what happened afterward.

The activities matter less than the consistency. Your Little learns to trust you by experiencing you showing up, keeping your word, and paying attention to what matters to them. If your Little loves comic books, you might read them together. If they're struggling with math, you might work on homework. If they're interested in music, you might attend local concerts or