How to Write an Obituary From the Beginning

Understanding the Purpose and Scope of an Obituary

An obituary is a written notice that announces someone's death and shares information about their life, accomplishments, and surviving family members. It serves multiple purposes in a community. First, it informs the public that a person has passed away. Second, it celebrates the individual's life by highlighting their achievements, interests, and character. Third, it provides practical details about funeral services, memorial events, and where donations can be made. Fourth, it creates a permanent public record of a person's life and legacy.

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Obituaries appear in newspapers, online news websites, funeral home websites, social media platforms, and community bulletin boards. The length and detail of an obituary can vary significantly. Some are brief announcements of just a few sentences, while others span multiple paragraphs and include photographs. The scope depends on several factors: the person's prominence in the community, the family's preferences, the publication's space limitations, and the budget available (some publications charge for obituaries while others do not).

Understanding what an obituary can accomplish helps guide the writing process. It is not simply a list of facts. Instead, a well-written obituary captures the essence of who someone was, how they lived, and what mattered to them. It allows family members and friends to express their love and respect. It also gives readers who knew the person an opportunity to reflect on shared memories and experiences. Community members who did not know the deceased can still learn about someone who contributed to local life.

Practical Takeaway: Before you begin writing, clarify the purpose of the obituary and where it will be published. This helps determine how much detail to include and what tone to use. A brief funeral home notice requires different information than a full newspaper obituary.

Gathering Essential Information and Personal Details

The foundation of any obituary is accurate information about the deceased. Start by collecting basic biographical facts: full legal name, age or birth date, date of death, and place of death. Many families find it helpful to create a simple checklist of information to gather, working together to ensure accuracy. Key details include the person's birthplace, parents' names, education history, and career path. If the person was married, include the spouse's name and current marital status. If divorced or widowed, decide with the family what information to include based on what the deceased would have wanted.

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Beyond basic facts, gather information that reveals character and values. What were the person's hobbies and interests? Did they play musical instruments, garden, travel, or volunteer? What causes did they support? Were they active in their faith community, sports, arts, or civic organizations? Did they have favorite books, movies, places, or recipes? These details transform an obituary from a dry listing into a portrait of a real person.

Collect information about achievements and accomplishments throughout different life stages. This might include educational degrees, professional certifications, military service, business ownership, published works, awards, or community recognition. For some people, the most important accomplishments are personal: raising children, mentoring younger people, or maintaining lifelong friendships. All forms of meaningful achievement belong in an obituary.

Interview family members and close friends to gather these details. Ask them to share stories, memories, and observations. What would they want others to know about this person? What made them laugh? How did they treat people? These conversations often uncover details that capture the person's true nature better than any checklist can. Take notes during conversations, or ask permission to record them so you can reference them later.

Practical Takeaway: Create a written list organized by category: basic facts, education and career, family relationships, hobbies and interests, achievements and awards, and memorable characteristics. Having everything in one place prevents important details from being overlooked.

Determining the Obituary Length and Style

The length of an obituary varies based on several practical considerations. Newspaper obituaries often have word limits. Some publications allow up to 250 words for a standard obituary, while premium or paid obituaries may extend to 500 words or more. Funeral home websites typically have no word limits, allowing for longer, more detailed tributes. Social media obituaries are often shorter and more conversational. Online memorial sites like Legacy or Tribute Wall may allow extensive content including photos, videos, and comments from visitors.

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The appropriate style depends on the deceased's personality and the publication's conventions. A formal, traditional style works well for published newspaper obituaries and official records. Phrases like "passed away," "departed this life," or "went to be with the Lord" are common in traditional obituaries. A more casual, warm style is appropriate for social media, online memorials, and personal websites. Some families prefer to reflect the deceased's sense of humor, which might include funny stories or lighthearted language that captures how they lived.

Consider the audience when choosing style. A newspaper obituary reaches a broad public audience, including people who knew the person and those who did not. The writing should be clear and accessible to everyone. An online memorial or funeral home page is often read primarily by people who knew the deceased, allowing for more personal and specific references. Family members should discuss what tone feels right and what the deceased would have appreciated.

Length also depends on the person's life circumstances. A young person who died tragically may warrant a longer obituary focusing on potential and character. An elderly person who lived a long, full life may have a longer account of their many decades, achievements, and numerous survivors. Someone who lived quietly but meaningfully may have a shorter obituary that still honors their life. There is no single "correct" length—what matters is that the obituary reflects the person's life appropriately.

Practical Takeaway: Check the specific requirements of the publication or website where the obituary will appear. Ask about word limits, formatting options, whether photos are included, and any content guidelines. This information shapes decisions about what details to emphasize and how to organize the obituary.

Organizing Information and Writing the Opening

A well-structured obituary follows a logical flow that guides readers from essential information to personal details. The traditional structure begins with the opening statement, which announces the death and provides basic facts. The opening typically includes the person's name, age, date of death, and location. For example: "Margaret Ellen Foster, 87, of Springfield, passed away peacefully on March 15, 2024, at Riverside Medical Center." Some obituaries add the cause of death in the opening, while others save this detail for later or omit it entirely based on family preference.

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After the opening comes information about where the person was born and raised. This helps readers understand the person's origins and background. The next section typically covers education and career. Include schools attended, degrees earned, and professional accomplishments. Present career information in a way that shows how the work defined the person's life or connected to their values. For someone whose primary role was raising a family, this section might focus on that central life work instead.

Follow with information about family relationships. Name spouses (current and former), children, grandchildren, and sometimes great-grandchildren. Mention siblings and parents if they are still living, or note if the person was preceded in death by parents or siblings. Some obituaries include the names of grandchildren and great-grandchildren; others provide just the number. Decide with the family what feels appropriate.

The middle sections of an obituary explore the person's interests, values, and character. This is where the personal portrait emerges. Describe hobbies, volunteer work, community involvement, and causes they supported. Share how they spent their time and what brought them joy. Include details about their personality: were they known for kindness, humor, creativity, or wisdom? This section makes the obituary memorable and meaningful.

Practical Takeaway: Sketch an outline before writing the full obituary. Organize information in categories and decide the order in which to present them. Write a strong opening sentence that includes the person's name, age, date and place of death. This sets a clear foundation for everything that follows.

Crafting Meaningful Content and Telling the Person's Story

The heart of a compelling obituary lies in the details that reveal who the person truly was. Rather than simply listing facts, an obituary should weave information together into a narrative that tells the person's story. Consider what made them unique. What were they known for? What did people say about them? What did they believe in, and how did those beliefs shape their actions?

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Specific details and examples are far more powerful than general statements. Instead of writing "He enjoyed spending time with family," try "