Free Guide to Writing an Obituary

Understanding What an Obituary Is and Why It Matters

An obituary is a published notice announcing someone's death. It appears in newspapers, online news sites, funeral home websites, and sometimes in community bulletins or social media. The word "obituary" comes from the Latin phrase meaning "he or she died," and it serves as a formal way to inform the public about a person's passing.

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Obituaries have been published for centuries. They started as simple death announcements in newspapers and have evolved into more detailed tributes that tell the story of a person's life. Today, obituaries can range from short notices (50-100 words) to longer articles (500+ words) depending on the publication and family preferences.

Publishing an obituary serves several practical purposes. It notifies friends, distant relatives, colleagues, and community members who might not hear about the death through other means. An obituary provides information about funeral services, memorial events, and sometimes details about where memorial gifts can be sent. It creates a permanent public record of the person's life and accomplishments. Many people search obituaries to reconnect with old classmates or community members, or to research family history.

Different publications have different obituary sections. Newspapers typically charge for obituary publication, with costs ranging from $200 to $1,000 or more depending on length and location. Online obituary sites like Legacy.com, Ancestry.com, and Obituaries.com often allow free posting. Funeral homes often publish obituaries on their websites at no charge. Social media platforms like Facebook and community pages have become popular places for obituary sharing.

Practical Takeaway: Before writing, decide where you want the obituary published. Contact those publications or websites to learn their specific requirements, length limits, submission deadlines, and costs. This information will guide how detailed you make your obituary and what information you include.

Gathering Information and Organizing Key Details

Writing an obituary requires collecting accurate biographical information about the deceased. Start by gathering documents that contain important dates and facts: birth certificate, marriage license, military discharge papers, diplomas, and employment records. These documents help you verify exact dates and spell names correctly. Speaking with family members and close friends can fill in personal details and stories that make an obituary meaningful.

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Create a simple timeline of the person's life. Begin with birth date and place, then add major life events in order: education, military service, career changes, marriage, children's births, moves to different cities, retirements, and significant achievements. This timeline becomes the backbone of your obituary structure. It ensures you don't skip important periods and helps you maintain chronological order.

Collect the following essential information:

• Full legal name and any nicknames or maiden names
• Birth date and birthplace
• Death date and location (hospital, home, hospice facility)
• Parents' names (deceased or living)
• Spouse's name and marriage date
• Children's names and their spouses' names
• Grandchildren and great-grandchildren count or names
• Education: schools attended and degrees earned
• Military service: branch, rank, years served
• Career: job titles and companies, years employed
• Cause of death (optional, but many families include it)
• Hobbies, interests, and volunteer work
• Memberships in clubs, churches, or organizations
• Awards or honors received

Pay special attention to names and dates. Verify the correct spelling of all names, including middle names. Confirm birth and death dates. Double-check the names of surviving family members. Errors in these details can be embarrassing and upsetting to families. When in doubt, ask family members to verify the information.

Practical Takeaway: Create a checklist of all the information above and systematically gather it from documents and family conversations. Write everything down in one document so you have all details in one place as you begin writing. This prevents you from having to search for information multiple times.

Understanding Standard Obituary Format and Structure

Most obituaries follow a predictable structure that readers expect. Understanding this format helps you organize information in a way that flows naturally and includes all important details. The standard obituary format has been refined over decades and works well because it presents information in the order people want to read it.

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The opening paragraph, called the "lede" in journalism, typically contains the most important information: the person's name, age, location where they died, and the date of death. Many obituaries also mention the cause of death in this opening. Some families prefer not to include the cause, and that is entirely acceptable. Here is an example: "John Robert Marshall, 84, of Springfield, Illinois, died peacefully at home on June 15, surrounded by family. He had lived with heart disease for several years."

The second section usually covers the person's early life: where they were born, their parents' names, their education, and their childhood. This section often includes interesting details that shaped who they became. For example: "Born in 1940 in rural Kentucky to farmers Margaret and William Marshall, John was the oldest of six children. He attended a one-room schoolhouse and walked three miles each way to get there."

The middle section focuses on the person's adult life and accomplishments. Include information about their career, military service, volunteer work, and major life achievements. This is where you show what they did and what mattered to them professionally. For example: "After high school, John served in the Air Force for four years, then earned a degree in engineering from the University of Illinois. He worked for Caterpillar for 35 years, where he designed hydraulic systems and mentored younger engineers."

Another important section covers family relationships. List the names of the surviving spouse (if applicable), children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Include names of the deceased spouse, parents, and siblings who died before the person. This section is important because it shows family connections and helps relatives and friends understand the person's place in family history. For example: "He is survived by his wife of 58 years, Patricia; three children: Michael, Susan, and David; eight grandchildren; and four great-grandchildren. His parents and younger brother Thomas preceded him in death."

Many obituaries include a section about hobbies, interests, and values. What did this person love to do? Were they involved in their church, community organizations, or volunteer causes? What made them unique or memorable? This section brings personality and warmth to the obituary. For example: "John was an accomplished woodworker who built furniture for all his grandchildren. He served as a volunteer firefighter for 20 years and was an active member of the Rotary Club, where he was recognized with a Paul Harris Fellow award."

The closing section provides practical information: funeral or memorial service details (date, time, location), where people can send flowers or memorial gifts, and the name of the funeral home. For example: "A memorial service will be held at 2 p.m. on June 24 at First Presbyterian Church in Springfield. The family suggests that memorial gifts be made to the American Heart Association."

Practical Takeaway: As you write, use this structure as your outline: opening with death announcement, early life, career and accomplishments, family relationships, hobbies and interests, and closing with service information. This ensures you cover all important aspects and present them in a logical order readers expect.

Writing Clear, Honest, and Meaningful Obituary Content

The tone of an obituary should be respectful and honest. An obituary is not a time to exaggerate or omit significant truths, but it is also not a place to air grievances or include unflattering details. The goal is to present an accurate and fair representation of the person's life while honoring their memory and being respectful to the family.

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Use plain language that anyone can understand. Avoid jargon, technical terms, or complicated sentence structures. Short sentences are better than long ones. Active voice (where the person does something) is clearer than passive voice. For example, write "John managed a team of 20 engineers" rather than "A team of 20 engineers was managed by John." This creates more direct, vivid writing.

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