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Understanding Big Brother as a Mentoring Program

Big Brothers Big Sisters is one of the largest youth mentoring organizations in the United States. Founded in 1904, the organization has been pairing children with adult mentors for over a century. According to their national office, the program serves over 200,000 young people annually through local agencies in all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

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The program operates on a simple concept: a trained adult volunteer (called a "Big") spends time with a young person (called a "Little") on a regular basis. These matches are meant to last for at least one year, though many continue much longer. The relationship focuses on building trust, providing support, and creating positive experiences through activities like going to movies, playing sports, visiting museums, or simply spending time together.

Research on youth mentoring shows measurable outcomes. A study published in the journal "Child Development" found that youth in mentoring relationships showed improvements in academic performance, school attendance, and social relationships. Participants also reported better attitudes toward school and lower rates of substance use compared to control groups.

The program serves children ages 6 through young adults. Local Big Brothers Big Sisters agencies operate somewhat independently while following the national organization's standards for matching, training, and support. This means the specific programs, age ranges served, and activities available may vary depending on which local agency you're learning about.

Practical Takeaway: Before exploring further steps, determine which local Big Brothers Big Sisters agency serves your area, as each operates its own program with specific details about how mentoring works in your community.

How the Mentor Matching Process Works

The matching process between mentors and young people is central to how Big Brothers Big Sisters operates. Local agencies don't randomly pair mentors with youth. Instead, they use a structured process designed to create strong, compatible matches that can develop into meaningful long-term relationships.

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When an adult volunteer first reaches out to a local agency, staff members conduct an initial conversation about the volunteer's interests, availability, and reasons for wanting to mentor. This isn't a formal interview in the traditional sense, but rather a discussion to understand what the potential mentor hopes to contribute. The volunteer learns about the program's expectations, including time commitments and the organization's philosophy around mentoring.

Simultaneously, when a young person's family contacts the agency about mentoring, staff gather information about the child's personality, interests, home situation, and what the family hopes mentoring will provide. They ask questions about the child's favorite activities, school experience, and social preferences. This information becomes essential for the matching process.

Trained staff members then review the information from both the potential mentor and the young person to identify compatible matches. They consider factors like shared interests, personality types, geographic proximity, and availability. For example, if a volunteer enjoys outdoor activities and works afternoons, the agency might match them with a young person who likes nature and is available after school. If a mentor prefers quieter one-on-one activities, they might match with a child who is more introverted.

After a match is made, both the volunteer and the family meet with an agency staff member to discuss expectations and begin building the relationship. The agency provides ongoing support to the match throughout their time together, including check-ins and resources for managing challenges that might arise.

Practical Takeaway: Understanding that matches are thoughtfully created based on compatibility and availability helps explain why the process takes time and involves multiple conversations rather than being completed quickly.

Training Requirements for Adult Volunteers

Big Brothers Big Sisters requires all adult volunteers to complete training before they begin mentoring. This training protects young people and ensures volunteers understand their role and responsibilities. The specific training components may vary slightly between local agencies, but national standards guide the training process.

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Training typically covers several key topics. First, volunteers learn about child development—how young people think, learn, and develop socially at different ages. This helps mentors understand age-appropriate expectations and communication styles. For example, a mentor working with a 7-year-old needs to communicate differently than one working with a teenager.

Volunteers also receive training on mandatory reporting requirements. In every state, certain people—including mentors—are legally required to report suspected child abuse or neglect to authorities. Training explains what situations require reporting and how to report them. This training protects children and ensures volunteers understand their legal obligations.

The training includes information about appropriate boundaries in the mentor-youth relationship. Volunteers learn about professional conduct, proper communication, and situations to avoid. This training covers topics like appropriate activities, managing physical boundaries, and maintaining confidentiality while also knowing when information needs to be shared with parents or agency staff.

Many agencies also provide training on topics like diversity, cultural competence, and working with youth from different backgrounds. This helps mentors serve young people effectively regardless of differences in race, ethnicity, socioeconomic background, or family structure. Volunteers learn about implicit bias and how to build strong relationships across differences.

The amount of training time required varies. Some agencies require 8-12 hours of initial training before matching, while others provide training over time. Many agencies offer ongoing training throughout the mentoring relationship to help volunteers address challenges and continue developing their skills.

Practical Takeaway: Expect that becoming a mentor involves completing training before you're matched with a young person—this is not a step that can be skipped, and the training period typically lasts several weeks.

Time Commitments and Program Expectations

Understanding the time requirement for mentoring is critical before contacting a local agency. Big Brothers Big Sisters mentors make a significant but manageable commitment. The national program standard asks mentors to spend at least 8-12 hours per month with their Little, which typically means meeting once weekly for 1-2 hours. This might sound like a small amount, but the program emphasizes consistency and reliability.

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The consistency matters more than the intensity. A young person would rather have a mentor who visits reliably for one hour each week than one who disappears for months then visits for an entire day. Regular, predictable contact builds trust and helps the young person develop confidence in the relationship. This is especially important for children who may have experienced unreliable adults in their lives.

Beyond time spent together, mentors should plan for occasional communication between meetings—a text message, phone call, or note. Many modern mentors use simple text communication to stay connected throughout the week. The communication doesn't need to be lengthy; even brief check-ins help maintain the relationship.

Mentors should also expect to attend an initial match meeting with agency staff and potentially other support meetings throughout the year. Some agencies hold group activities where mentors and their Littles can participate together. These might include picnics, holiday parties, or educational events. Attending some of these group activities is typically part of the mentoring commitment, though agencies understand that not every event works for every match.

The financial commitment typically involves paying for activities. While the agency does not charge mentors to volunteer, mentors generally pay for activities they do with their Little—movie tickets, meals, sports equipment, museum entry, and similar expenses. The program provides guidance on finding free and low-cost activities in communities, so this doesn't require significant spending. Mentors and Littles can enjoy parks, community events, libraries, and other free resources.

Mentors should be prepared for a minimum 1-year commitment, though many relationships continue for years. The program emphasizes that mentors who leave before a year can harm young people, as it reinforces experiences of abandonment or unreliability that some children have already experienced.

Practical Takeaway: Before moving forward, assess your genuine ability to commit 8-12 hours monthly for at least one year—if your schedule doesn't realistically allow this, mentoring may not be the right fit at this time.

How to Contact Your Local Big Brothers Big Sisters Agency

Each community has a local Big Brothers Big Sisters agency that operates independently while following national standards. Finding your local agency is the first practical step in learning how to become involved. The national Big Brothers Big Sisters website maintains a directory where you can search by zip code or state to find agencies near you.

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Once you've identified your local agency, you can contact them through their website, by phone, or in person. Most agencies maintain active websites with information specific to their program, including details about how they operate, the neighborhoods they serve, current needs for mentors, and how to take next steps. The website often includes a form you can complete to express interest,